The Elusive Valentine

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.

Image via Wikipedia

As Valentines approaches and the retailers ramp up for the occasion, it makes me wonder what do REAL women want for valentines. For when you are no longer wearing  the catch me attitude or are not still in the newness of a relationship, the dinner out or the fancy card, do they still cut it? I know traditionally the idea is to purchase roses, chocolates and a frilly card but by buying what the market tells you, are you as a spouse actually showing your heart.

Personally I think that after you have had a few years of relationship or heaven forbid decades, or if you have survived raising children valentines might have a bit of a different flavour. I know we all want our spouses to know by osmosis what it is that we truly want, but Not going to happen.  I think some of the nicest gifts are the type of knowing your spouse. One year my man who does not drink coffee ever, stood in line at Tim’s (which he thinks is crazy) and brought me home a java. It was pretty sweet. Or another time, actually made coffee at home and since I was still in bed brought it to me.  Honestly the coffee was see through, basically just hot water with a little flavouring but still a great gesture.

My niece who has a new baby, has dreams of her husband getting up with the baby in the night for a valentines gift. He is a pretty newbie spouse so I can not see it happening……but maybe, sometimes men are surprising.

I read in the paper to-day that lingerie in a good option. Who is that gift for? I can tell you it is for the husband.   Probably some guy wrote that. What the hell! And also that is a landmine of trouble,  what size would you purchase. Do not do it!

A gift card for a massage or a pedicure that might work.  I know a friend who is all about the bling and totally informs her husband, which is a perfect solution. One year for xmas he purchased her a HUGE used slurpee machine, he has since been banned from shopping alone. Now he sticks to the bling.

There is apparently the five signs of love;  acts of service, gifts, verbal praise, physical and quality of time. So the trick is knowing what your spouse is.  The problem with that is I know my type, not a clue on his…..maybe after another decade I will get it. Poor guy. Or maybe the trick is making the gift a combo of all five.  You could wrap the quality of time, physical and verbal praise into one romantic evening, plus if you bought say a great gift and made a great supper. In that one event you could hit all 5 languages of love. TA DA. Might be too much work, need to figure it out.

So my husband is pretty smart, picked up flowers on Saturday, beat the rush and warmed my heart. On the other hand, I am picking up some polish sausage (which he loves) and have downloaded the how to salsa dance moves. Seriously I married the only man in the world who wants to salsa dance, problem is I do not want to be a salsa twosome. 

 But this valentines it is a sacrifice I am going to make ! 



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