Mom, please…….

I decided after a bout with the flu that everyone in the house had to man up and hit the flu clinic. Now if you can imagine none of my kids were very excited about it. So of course I used my expert parenting skills and…wait for it…. bribed them to do it.

So we drive to the clinic, which everyone remembers from a past NEEDLE. So far off to a good start. One child was begging me, I do not want to do it. Another…yelling.  I convince everyone to come in by saying they can  just watch me. You bet, I was lying my face off. We do all of the paper work. No line up, yippee.  My troupe invades a nurses station. We decide to go with the nasal mist. I even volunteer to go first. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

So after much convincing, and showing stickers, reminding about the bribe, I mean treat, my second youngest does it. Then the youngest. Meanwhile I have one screaming bloody blue murder and yelling NO, No.  We all try to convince her, tell her firmly be quiet, take her for a little walk to calm down, get a private room, hold her hand, still no go.  Eventually after everyone person in the place is traumatized we leave, no sticker, no rewards. In our wake were small children and nursing staff that needed therapy.

Then I start the car to take the 2 kids to the store for the treat and tell the third, you do not get one. So on the way the assault starts. My youngest says Mom, please, she did not understand, she was just scared, and  what if I get a  really small treat, then can she have one, really Mom, can you give her a second chance.

English: This figure illustrates the function of the Everyday Parenting curriculum (EPC). “FCU” in this figure refers to The Family Check Up which utilizes the Everyday Parenting curriculum. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 So sweet, it was breaking my heart.  Please Mom, just think about it.

I know as every parent knows, if you have said, the ones that get the flu shot get the treat, you follow through. But the problem was becoming the child was begging not for herself but for her sister. I was beginning to feel like a complete meanie!!!

So what did I do….

Bought 3 treats….BAD!

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Not the R word!

English: New Years Eve at Hallgrímskirkja Reykjavik (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Resolutions, I do not actually believe in them. Seriously how much improvement do we all need. Are you really that much of a mess? Come on….. Besides I have a theory that the top resolutions are: lose weight, quit smoking and be more fit. No pressure though, lets start the year with enthusiasm or is that  delusion. It is probably because most are made on New Years Eve with a little help from a brewski or two.

So I do not make any but then my friend Liz, has messed that up. She has decided to floss every day, be more polite, only drink beverages (the good ones) on Wed, Fri and Sat. and do yoga every week. Not bad, actually doable. Much better than my exercise less and gain weight.
Now another friend Tara has a great big jar in which she will put her appreciation notes in. You know the kind of thing, a great run, that cold sunny day, your childs belly laugh, and a big fat hug from kids. Chatting with genuine friends, accomplishing tasks, clean sheets, and the greatness of life.
So although I do not believe in resolutions, I have found some good ones.

Of course first a mock resolutions and then I steal  resolutions. Perhaps mine should be: stop being judgy, and be honest. Naawww….next I will be giving up coffee.

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The Shepherd’s Pie That Grew and Grew!!

As Christmas became closer and closer, I had an idea to help my friend. She is trying to raise 3 kids by herself, she has 2 jobs and volunteers on 3 soccer teams to get a discount. I admire how hard she works to make a good life for her kids. So I decided to cook a shepherd’s pie for her, for those crazy days.

I happened to mention it to a curling friend, who said why don’t we help her. Then the next curling group said the next thing. As did the hockey shinny group and the hockey daytime league team.  So what has started as one meal has become this amazing hamper filled with food, toys, meals, gift cards and caring. I am overwhelmed by these people I know who are so generous and compassionate.

It is one thing to help a friend, but to help someone you do not know. Wow!  thank you.

Christmas in the post-War United States (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Using that BLOODY wishbone exercise machine!!!

Thigh Burns Rock! (Photo credit: spencerpaulc)

I have this illusion that I am fit.

I mean I run, curl, play hockey, soccer , badminton, and  love to ski. All for fun but I think the side benefit is some level of fitness.
But hey, it does not always guarantee it.

First a problem with my knee, a little sore  on the outside and not so bendy, turns out my outer thigh is stronger than my inner! Solution is to stretch my i t band, use that bloody styrofoam roller and strengthen my inner thigh. So yes I am the person on the wishbone exercise machine working her inner thighs. I have ALWAYS mocked everyone on there, and made sexual innuendos about using that machine. Now I sheepishly am the “open for business” chick on there. I feel that they could stick some stirrups on it and you could do your physical at the same time..Woohooo!!!

Now second problem, turns out if you play hockey and fall with your arm fully extended, BAM, your shoulder will dislocate, And holy Mother of God, does that make you scream like a baby girl. So apparently my rotator cuff is a tad weak, at this time. So instead of playing hockey and running I presently am doing small incremental exercises with a blue elastic band tied to my railing. Good news, I will get better and I will be back at hockey and I will from now on tuck, drop and roll. My arms are staying close to me.

It has made me realize a large portion of my life is SPORTS!!! Oh how I miss thee.

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When I rule the world..Princess Leona and the Four Trolls!!

Couldn’t possibly comment (Photo credit: Terry Madeley)

When I rule the world I am making some changes, you got it sister, changes.
School will get out 2 weeks earlier, those organized fun days can be run by the parents at home. And yes that means I and my family get to sleep in two weeks earlier.

Less Packaging; Forget all the recycling, lets call out the businesses who put so much plastic and so many screws to keep a toy in place and have that changed.
Nice people: All of the cranky people will be made to go to “Nice School” where they learn what to say and what NOT to say.
Green Front Lawns: They will be banned. It scares me to think how many chemicals and how much water is used to make lawns look green, when in fact they are anything but…. plant some frickin vegetables instead. Also what if cities planted potatoes for the food bank in that boulevard space of grass.  A win/win I think.
Dumb Law Suits: Excuse me, if you can not figure out, that you should NOT iron your shirt while wearing it, come on. Or if you can not see that an  exersaucer should NOT be used as a sled or water device,  REALLY!

Fake Competitive People: You know the people who say ” I am not competitive”, well maybe not about sports, but what about look how many  friends I have,  or your I am such a good mom, I just so love my kids so much, they are my life,helicopter, helicopter, or Oh, look at me I only feed my kids organic foods and homemade everything, or the Oh, it only comes in a size 2, I need a zero. Are you frickin kidding me, don’t bullshit a bullshitter.
People who are sooooo Busy or Soooo Tired; how about do not sign up for so many things, and start drinking coffee. Oh wait, that might be me.

Builders will be required to put solar panels on house roofs and automotive manufacturers will be required to make  a  car starter that is hooked to a breathalyzer.

Hygenists will stop treating grown adults like kids about flossing.  The person gets it, they just do not want to do it.

Family Rates; when it says family rate  they include all of your kids, not the fine print that says 2 adults, 2 children, hello all four of these are mine, they are my family.

Doctors will be treated better. And then they will be on time, and have a magazine at least one from this year in the waiting (whoops, reception) room.

Businesses will shut off the lights. I am pretty sure there is no one working in your office from 11 pm-5 am. So save some energy and shut off the lights, please. Let my children see the stars.

Businesses that have xmas wrapping paper in their store in August.  Yes, I saw some this week.

Oh My, see what happens when I give up coffee!!!!…

I might need to change my blog name to The Princess and the Four Trolls, perhaps I will not have a democratic vote on that.

xoxo  Princess/Troll Leona

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Yummy mummies Club WTH!!!

I know say WHAT! Okay seriously there is such a group. Now I am kinda confused, did someone give you that name or did you  knight yourselves that?
And what happens when you become not so yummy, can you still be in the club? Does someone say whoops you gained 10 lbs, you are out. Or whoops, get a new  hair do or get out?? I am a little confused and bewildered here.

I am going to start a club called the Exhausted Slaves or Pooped Parents or Big Tummy Mummies or What the Hell have I done with my life club! Requirements will be addiction to coffee, a closet full of going out clothes you never get to wear, and that look of fatigue on your face that never leaves. Oh yes and the badge of baby love on your shoulder that you have worn out in public.

All members will be required to be actually nice, supportive and not judgy! You will give tips on how to get more sleep, make your children your slaves, how to carry two car seats, your coffee and open a store door by yourself, and how to have okay hair with the least amount of time. Members will also be required to share baby sitter numbers, not hoard them.And you will have permission to not be yummy!!

Okay to be fair I am going to look this group up. Of course I am conflicted as I do not want to give them any publicity. Maybe I am being judgy, and they perhaps raise funds for special needs groups or volunteer with seniors. Maybe…..

XOXO with Love from this Princess Troll Mom

All right checked it out, looks good, some actually deep content on this site. But you SERIOUSLY  need a new name! 

Yummy Yummy Yummy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Friendship Bragging

Nepal – Sagamartha Trek – 194 – EBC Malaysian Support & Research Team (Photo credit: mckaysavage)

Great friends are a gift, the gift that is practical and sweet at the same time. So Perfect in fact. I am heading to a friend’s tonight for a glass of wine and great conversation.
So as I have matured I am able to brag about her without the envy that I in the past I would have certainly  had. My friend went to Nepal and hiked to base camp in the spring. So cool. I am very proud of her. Of course I did have a tiny bit of “oh I wish I could have done that”, well until I saw the conditions she slept in. And I did not get to ask her if they had coffee, might have been a deal breaker for me.
So what I want to say is “Good Job Hol! I am so happy for you and proud that you were able to do it” Plus also after she does the debriefing tonight I can use all of her stories without having to do the work!! Glory by association!!

The best of both worlds!!

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Amazing Amanda…You DiD WHAT!

Amanda (Boston song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In society these days you are often admired if you are ougoing, smile a lot and super confident. But is that always the best way?

My niece recently got married and she has always been shy, quiet and reserved. Honestly when she was little she would not go to a birthday party without her mom, she would voice no opinion on what she wanted to do or what she wanted to eat. She would barely speak to people she even knew.

Then somewhere along the way, something changed. She says university helped, I say she just became herself, only more so. I realized that with being quiet, she was observing and learning. She was quietly acquiring skills that are amazing. She has become the best gift giver, the best cupcake maker, the kindest with children, the most organized, super great at decorating and does the most amazing hair.  Now if I was good at all of those things you would know. I would tell everyone, perhaps be what you might say BRAGGY. But when I see Amanda I realize there is two ways to do everything, my way….big, bold and bossy or hers, quiet, effective and efficient.

So because of her, I look at the quiet group with a different light and realize that often that softer might often be better.

Congratulations Amanda!!

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Farm Camp

Image via Wikipedia

My daughter went to horse camp with her cousin.  It included a couple of nights sleep over, lots of horse riding, campfires, and fun. So while she was there I went to my Mom’s farm,. The first time I had been to my mom’s with no kids for at least a decade, probably longer. I know what a great time 2 days and 2 nights of Mom and daughter time, pure bliss.

The thing is my Mom is no ordinary mom. She is now a senior and still farms by herself. So the first night we have coffee and play scrabble,  have lots of chatting, very great. And in the morning, we feed a few animals and then have coffee with her friends in town, who are all super nice. This is a lovely relaxing time.

BUT when we get to the farm, my Mom suggests we move some cattle to the pasture. So we get the cows and a few calves organized and start them down the road.  Now most of my Mom’s cows are like pets but hitting the open road with a stranger (me) does get them excited.They decided to do a little Thelma and Louise. So there was a bit of running, they took off down the ditch and into my cousins field and I am running after them.  Of course I did a stop, drop and roll in the ditch as I misread the steepness of it.  But when you have cows hitting someones field, you need to stop, drop and roll and get up and start running again. So once we got them back on the road, I walked behind them to keep them moving the 6 miles to the pasture. My Mom who was driving the truck offered to switch places half way, but seriously …..do I want the neighbors talking about me! 

I love being outside and I like cows, who often walk in a straight line, but all it takes is one or two who want to wander from ditch to ditch, truly in search of greener pastures,but that can easily turn 6 miles into 10 or perhaps 12. When we get them to the corrals, we have to ear tag and do a little veterinary work on the calves. And trust me as cute as they may be, calves can kick very hard  and always right at  your shins!  Upon finishing that we walked the cattle back another half mile.  I think this might be Farm Boot camp. Forgot Gillian from  the biggest loser, come hang out with Pat and her pet cows.

We go home, Mom lets me ride in the truck this time, along with her dog Max.  Moving up the ladder, I am. At home we sit in our coveralls eating cold chicken and toast and have a spot of java. Oh wait, we are not done, this was just our lunch break. We hit the outdoors to fix fence.  Grab fence posts, crow bar, hammer and staples. When we get to the field we first chase a cow out of the oats, then back the truck up to the fence. My Mom digs the hole, then I stand on the back of the pick up with the sledge-hammer and pound that post into the ground, and proceed to we staple the barbed wire onto it.  We put in about 7 posts. There is nothing like using a sledge-hammer to fix those upper arms. After we finish that job, we go into the house, and my sister comes for coffee. She remarks on our matching outfits. Ha. Ha. Couture Coveralls.

After she leaves,  we decide to paint the window trim. My brother had replaced my mom’s window and the trim needed done. So out comes the paint, brush and I paint.  That completed I decide to go to bed, more like collapse into bed.

In the morning I  have a coffee while I repaint the window trim.

My Mom had made the coffee and was chatting while washing dishes, for heaven forbid she have a dishwasher, what would she do all day! Her words not mine.

I go outside and start to remove the shingles off the dog house     and begin re-shingling it. My Mom heads off to feed some chickens, cats and the cattle still at the farm.

I need to work fast on the dog house as I need to pick my daughter up that day. Which perhaps might be a good thing, can I keep up to my Mom? Will I need a holiday from my holiday?

This was a great holiday, I love being busy and love working on actual work. I may have just needed to be in a training program.

I often wonder how my Mom is so healthy, fit and spry and perhaps it is because her days are always like that. In the city you see people out running, and hitting the gym, perhaps they just need to go to farm camp. Hmm….might be a little business for my Mom.  She could get some help and they could get fit.

She could call it Pat’s pounds, or Keeping up with Mom, or Farm Fitness or …….the Biggest Loser on the Real Farm.

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Raining raining,raining and raining……

Umbrella with raindrops (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It is raining like crazy where I live….the hard downpour kind that has you rushing from your car to your house or the store. The kind that can destroy the perfectly straightened hair right from the iron, the kind that makes you realize, that no you did not clean out your gutters and the kind that makes you stay inside. Personally I like rain and I admire nasty weather. It is nature having a temper tantrum.  I feel like regardless of the progress in the world and our cushy life made easy by inventions, the weather can bring everything to a halt.
Rainy days to me, feel like a day off. It gives you permission to bake glorious cookies and loafs, permission to watch tv, read a steamy novel and to not exercise. It is suddenly okay to be a coach potato and to eat comfort food in your fuzzy clothes.  When the sun is out, it seems a waste if you are not basking in its warmth, soaking up that Vitamin D, it is a shame to not seize the day. But with rain, if you go out for a walk, or go running, people either admire you, well or think you are nuts.
So tonight I am making white chocolate blueberry scones and watching trash  television! Bring on the Bachelor!!  Let it Rain!

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