Mom, please…….

I decided after a bout with the flu that everyone in the house had to man up and hit the flu clinic. Now if you can imagine none of my kids were very excited about it. So of course I used my expert parenting skills and…wait for it…. bribed them to do it.

So we drive to the clinic, which everyone remembers from a past NEEDLE. So far off to a good start. One child was begging me, I do not want to do it. Another…yelling.  I convince everyone to come in by saying they can  just watch me. You bet, I was lying my face off. We do all of the paper work. No line up, yippee.  My troupe invades a nurses station. We decide to go with the nasal mist. I even volunteer to go first. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

So after much convincing, and showing stickers, reminding about the bribe, I mean treat, my second youngest does it. Then the youngest. Meanwhile I have one screaming bloody blue murder and yelling NO, No.  We all try to convince her, tell her firmly be quiet, take her for a little walk to calm down, get a private room, hold her hand, still no go.  Eventually after everyone person in the place is traumatized we leave, no sticker, no rewards. In our wake were small children and nursing staff that needed therapy.

Then I start the car to take the 2 kids to the store for the treat and tell the third, you do not get one. So on the way the assault starts. My youngest says Mom, please, she did not understand, she was just scared, and  what if I get a  really small treat, then can she have one, really Mom, can you give her a second chance.

English: This figure illustrates the function ...

English: This figure illustrates the function of the Everyday Parenting curriculum (EPC). “FCU” in this figure refers to The Family Check Up which utilizes the Everyday Parenting curriculum. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 So sweet, it was breaking my heart.  Please Mom, just think about it.

I know as every parent knows, if you have said, the ones that get the flu shot get the treat, you follow through. But the problem was becoming the child was begging not for herself but for her sister. I was beginning to feel like a complete meanie!!!

So what did I do….

Bought 3 treats….BAD!

Not the R word!

English: New Years Eve at Hallgrímskirkja Reyk...

English: New Years Eve at Hallgrímskirkja Reykjavik (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Resolutions, I do not actually believe in them. Seriously how much improvement do we all need. Are you really that much of a mess? Come on….. Besides I have a theory that the top resolutions are: lose weight, quit smoking and be more fit. No pressure though, lets start the year with enthusiasm or is that  delusion. It is probably because most are made on New Years Eve with a little help from a brewski or two.

So I do not make any but then my friend Liz, has messed that up. She has decided to floss every day, be more polite, only drink beverages (the good ones) on Wed, Fri and Sat. and do yoga every week. Not bad, actually doable. Much better than my exercise less and gain weight.
Now another friend Tara has a great big jar in which she will put her appreciation notes in. You know the kind of thing, a great run, that cold sunny day, your childs belly laugh, and a big fat hug from kids. Chatting with genuine friends, accomplishing tasks, clean sheets, and the greatness of life.
So although I do not believe in resolutions, I have found some good ones.

Of course first a mock resolutions and then I steal  resolutions. Perhaps mine should be: stop being judgy, and be honest. Naawww….next I will be giving up coffee.

The Shepherd’s Pie That Grew and Grew!!

As Christmas became closer and closer, I had an idea to help my friend. She is trying to raise 3 kids by herself, she has 2 jobs and volunteers on 3 soccer teams to get a discount. I admire how hard she works to make a good life for her kids. So I decided to cook a shepherd’s pie for her, for those crazy days.

I happened to mention it to a curling friend, who said why don’t we help her. Then the next curling group said the next thing. As did the hockey shinny group and the hockey daytime league team.  So what has started as one meal has become this amazing hamper filled with food, toys, meals, gift cards and caring. I am overwhelmed by these people I know who are so generous and compassionate.

It is one thing to help a friend, but to help someone you do not know. Wow!  thank you.

Christmas in the post-War United States

Christmas in the post-War United States (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Using that BLOODY wishbone exercise machine!!!

Thigh Burns Rock!

Thigh Burns Rock! (Photo credit: spencerpaulc)

I have this illusion that I am fit.

I mean I run, curl, play hockey, soccer , badminton, and  love to ski. All for fun but I think the side benefit is some level of fitness.
But hey, it does not always guarantee it.

First a problem with my knee, a little sore  on the outside and not so bendy, turns out my outer thigh is stronger than my inner! Solution is to stretch my i t band, use that bloody styrofoam roller and strengthen my inner thigh. So yes I am the person on the wishbone exercise machine working her inner thighs. I have ALWAYS mocked everyone on there, and made sexual innuendos about using that machine. Now I sheepishly am the “open for business” chick on there. I feel that they could stick some stirrups on it and you could do your physical at the same time..Woohooo!!!

Now second problem, turns out if you play hockey and fall with your arm fully extended, BAM, your shoulder will dislocate, And holy Mother of God, does that make you scream like a baby girl. So apparently my rotator cuff is a tad weak, at this time. So instead of playing hockey and running I presently am doing small incremental exercises with a blue elastic band tied to my railing. Good news, I will get better and I will be back at hockey and I will from now on tuck, drop and roll. My arms are staying close to me.

It has made me realize a large portion of my life is SPORTS!!! Oh how I miss thee.

When I rule the world..Princess Leona and the Four Trolls!!

Couldn't possibly comment

Couldn’t possibly comment (Photo credit: Terry Madeley)

When I rule the world I am making some changes, you got it sister, changes.
School will get out 2 weeks earlier, those organized fun days can be run by the parents at home. And yes that means I and my family get to sleep in two weeks earlier.

Less Packaging; Forget all the recycling, lets call out the businesses who put so much plastic and so many screws to keep a toy in place and have that changed.
Nice people: All of the cranky people will be made to go to “Nice School” where they learn what to say and what NOT to say.
Green Front Lawns: They will be banned. It scares me to think how many chemicals and how much water is used to make lawns look green, when in fact they are anything but…. plant some frickin vegetables instead. Also what if cities planted potatoes for the food bank in that boulevard space of grass.  A win/win I think.
Dumb Law Suits: Excuse me, if you can not figure out, that you should NOT iron your shirt while wearing it, come on. Or if you can not see that an  exersaucer should NOT be used as a sled or water device,  REALLY!

Fake Competitive People: You know the people who say ” I am not competitive”, well maybe not about sports, but what about look how many  friends I have,  or your I am such a good mom, I just so love my kids so much, they are my life,helicopter, helicopter, or Oh, look at me I only feed my kids organic foods and homemade everything, or the Oh, it only comes in a size 2, I need a zero. Are you frickin kidding me, don’t bullshit a bullshitter.
People who are sooooo Busy or Soooo Tired; how about do not sign up for so many things, and start drinking coffee. Oh wait, that might be me.

Builders will be required to put solar panels on house roofs and automotive manufacturers will be required to make  a  car starter that is hooked to a breathalyzer.

Hygenists will stop treating grown adults like kids about flossing.  The person gets it, they just do not want to do it.

Family Rates; when it says family rate  they include all of your kids, not the fine print that says 2 adults, 2 children, hello all four of these are mine, they are my family.

Doctors will be treated better. And then they will be on time, and have a magazine at least one from this year in the waiting (whoops, reception) room.

Businesses will shut off the lights. I am pretty sure there is no one working in your office from 11 pm-5 am. So save some energy and shut off the lights, please. Let my children see the stars.

Businesses that have xmas wrapping paper in their store in August.  Yes, I saw some this week.

Oh My, see what happens when I give up coffee!!!!…

I might need to change my blog name to The Princess and the Four Trolls, perhaps I will not have a democratic vote on that.

xoxo  Princess/Troll Leona

Yummy mummies Club WTH!!!

I know say WHAT! Okay seriously there is such a group. Now I am kinda confused, did someone give you that name or did you  knight yourselves that?
And what happens when you become not so yummy, can you still be in the club? Does someone say whoops you gained 10 lbs, you are out. Or whoops, get a new  hair do or get out?? I am a little confused and bewildered here.

I am going to start a club called the Exhausted Slaves or Pooped Parents or Big Tummy Mummies or What the Hell have I done with my life club! Requirements will be addiction to coffee, a closet full of going out clothes you never get to wear, and that look of fatigue on your face that never leaves. Oh yes and the badge of baby love on your shoulder that you have worn out in public.

All members will be required to be actually nice, supportive and not judgy! You will give tips on how to get more sleep, make your children your slaves, how to carry two car seats, your coffee and open a store door by yourself, and how to have okay hair with the least amount of time. Members will also be required to share baby sitter numbers, not hoard them.And you will have permission to not be yummy!!

Okay to be fair I am going to look this group up. Of course I am conflicted as I do not want to give them any publicity. Maybe I am being judgy, and they perhaps raise funds for special needs groups or volunteer with seniors. Maybe…..

XOXO with Love from this Princess Troll Mom

All right checked it out, looks good, some actually deep content on this site. But you SERIOUSLY  need a new name! 

Yummy Yummy Yummy

Yummy Yummy Yummy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Friendship Bragging

Nepal - Sagamartha Trek - 194 - EBC Malaysian ...

Nepal – Sagamartha Trek – 194 – EBC Malaysian Support & Research Team (Photo credit: mckaysavage)

Great friends are a gift, the gift that is practical and sweet at the same time. So Perfect in fact. I am heading to a friend’s tonight for a glass of wine and great conversation.
So as I have matured I am able to brag about her without the envy that I in the past I would have certainly  had. My friend went to Nepal and hiked to base camp in the spring. So cool. I am very proud of her. Of course I did have a tiny bit of “oh I wish I could have done that”, well until I saw the conditions she slept in. And I did not get to ask her if they had coffee, might have been a deal breaker for me.
So what I want to say is “Good Job Hol! I am so happy for you and proud that you were able to do it” Plus also after she does the debriefing tonight I can use all of her stories without having to do the work!! Glory by association!!

The best of both worlds!!